There was something I wanted to say.
When I awoke this morning, there was an idea in my mind that has come apart and drifted away, like ideas do when they are not paid attention to. It will find something better to do, a more interested person to take it and work with it. The idea lacked patience in me to make it happen, but perhaps it should have waited a little longer.
Patience is hard, especially for someone who has spent her life flitting from one thing to another like an ADHD bumblebee; gathering just enough of an experience to create a life. So much searching, stopping, failing, and sometimes frustration.
Then one day, life started to get clearer. All the gathering began to take shape, and beliefs and ideas about who I am and what I wanted began to form. Every decision, every mistake, every victory, every tear, every lesson learned, and fear faced has brought me here. There was no other way to journey to this place, no other way to gain access to the peace and contentment of this moment, and the next moment, and the next, letting each patient moment become a memory that makes my whole body smile.